Reinvention

The other day in class, I was acting out a scene with a young girl where I had to verbally abuse the shit out of her. I had fun with it and felt confident I had done a decent job of cutting loose. When it came time for feedback, the teacher was pretty positive but made the following note…

Teacher: I know you’re a nice guy. But you can get right up in her face and give it to her. Trust that she can handle it.

Krit: What makes you think I’m a nice guy?

I’ll Give You Bloody Nice Guy

Without hesitation, that was my immediate response.  As I heard myself say it, it came off as curious mixed with defensive.

Teacher: I can just tell.

Krit: How?

Teacher: I just can. Plus you kept putting space between the two of you by standing behind the couch. You used it as a barrier to protect her. Does me calling you nice bother you?

Mood

It didn’t but it did. I can honestly say that’s the first time in my life that anyone has described me as a ‘nice guy’.  It caught me off guard and hit me hard.  This might sound extra to some but I had to really take time to process it! Here’s this stranger pointing something out about my character that I’ve never identified with.  You ask any of my family and close friends, that wouldn’t even come in the Top 10 things they’d associate me with [not even gonna get into what words they would use].

Hooo

That’s not to say I’m a complete asshole.  Well who knows, to some I might be, but it’s more about what I automatically associate being a ‘nice guy’ with.  Right or wrong, ‘nice guy’ equals pushover.  Unassertive.  Soft.  Boring.  ‘Nice guys finish last’ right?  That’s what I hear. I guess there’s a bit of a distinction between being called ‘nice’/’a nice person’ and what we know to be a ‘nice guy’.  Even so, just the way we use the word ‘nice’ these days – it’s very generic.  “Oh yeah he’s nice”.  It’s like a whatever comment when you don’t have anything else to say.  With all the work I’ve been doing on me recently, I’ve been getting to know my true self more and more so maybe throughout this process…I’m actually nice?  Is that the new me?

Krit & Micah [1 Of 1000 Babies In The Family]

Reinvention.  When you hear of artists reinventing themselves, you think of a new shift in their image and their vibe. I’m thinking Michael, Janet and Madonna and all the different eras between each album [and can I just say my Dad has the same birthday as Janet and my Mum has the same birthday as Madonna – ayyye?]

TLC’s Debut Album

TLC’s Sophomore Album

Looking back at my journey from a hoodrat with the white kids on the debating team at high school…

Winning The O’Shea Shield Debate The Day Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Lopes Passed [2002]

…to a dancer [eww my gosh, this was the hardest one to shake off, for years if anyone said my name, it was like “oh Krit the dancer one?”]…

“Strictly Dancing” 2005

…to a student leader…

Celebrate Pasifika

MATES [Mentoring & Tutoring Education Scheme]

Maori & Pacific Medical & Health Sciences Retreat [Turangawaewae Marae]

Random Quad Shot

…to a law graduate and advocate…

Graduation

Skyping Students In New Zealand From The US

Racism Is Not Over But I’m Over Racism

…to a Fulbright scholar…

Masters In Education

Ok Lehigh

Research Trip In Cambodia

Research Trip In Israel & The West Bank

Research Trip To Ghana

Oh Shit, Ignore This One

…to a university professional/academic…

Lourdes University

First Lecture Teaching @ University Of Auckland

…to a MTV VJ/entertainer/personality/producer…

Always Getting Told Off For Wearing Kicks With Suits

MCing MTV Summer

Ass On A Donut On A Bus

Guest Speaking

Conference Talks

…to an actor/artist [which I’ve been reluctant to call myself until I have something more tangible to show for it but I’m letting go of that insecurity more and more each day].

Oop!

Podcasts are bloody everywhere and for some reason people keep inviting me to speak on theirs! On the most recent one I did [“Honest Conversations with Alex Cubis”], the host asked me what I wanted my title to be. “Can I just put Actor/TV Presenter?” I was like “nah bro, lemme have a think cuz I don’t wanna neglect my passion for equity and education – I did that for far too long in Australia”. This was a really good opportunity for me to reassess where I’m at in life and what I want to be known as.

“Honest Conversations”

In the end I settled on ‘Real Life/Scripted Hustler & Advocate For Change’. I felt it was a creative and balanced way of capturing everything about me.  My friend pointed out how it’s interesting that I have no issues self identifying with ‘Hustler’ which carries with it several negative connotations but I got shaken at the thought of being considered nice which has several positive ones.

 

A couple of years ago I posted this:

The messaging you want to send people about you vs the messaging people get from you. For me, I want people to think of Equity, Excellence and Entertainment in that order.

 

Equity – otherwise known as fairness. My passion for education and improving outcomes for marginalised groups, especially people from my communities, underpins everything I do.

 

Excellence – I have high expectations of myself and this can also be said of my family and the people I keep around me. From my academic career to my pursuits in television – I’m ambitious and when I want something I don’t f.ck around.

 

Entertainment – I can dazzle your undies off cuz I know how to have a good time. If you didn’t know that you better ask somebody.

 

—–

 

Some do. Some don’t. Some would rather see one more than others. I’ve redefined myself a few times over the years but my core values have always stayed the same. At the end of the day it’s up to us to take ownership of the way we’re perceived by people. Still a work in progress! Another rant brought on by being excited at what’s coming up for me this year.

“Redefined myself.”  Reinvention.  I used those words comparing my ever changing path with the work of artists when that’s not what it is at all.

Raw

You can’t reinvent you.  I’m ALL the things I outlined above.  I always have been and I always will be [bad haircuts and all].

Acting In Hollywood But Still Meeting With The Vice-Chancellor Of The University Of Auckland

People have often said “there are many layers to you, Krit”. It’s true but it’s not something unique to me. My layers are unique, sure, but having several, complex layers is true for everybody. We just gotta tap into them. We can only do that by getting to know ourselves better. Trusting ourselves and following our hearts. 

Krit With My Beautiful & Loving Big Sister, Leini [Porirua 1990]

Now when I read my former ideas on messaging and perception, I know I’m in a very different headspace to when I wrote it. There’s truth in it but it’s only one truth that came to me in that moment. What’s my truth now?  If you take anything away from this piece of writing, I want it to be that you should be aware of how you’re perceived but don’t get too caught up in it! Concentrate on who you actually are – how you move in the world and how you treat others. That’s what’s most important. That’s what’s gonna help you discover the best parts of you and let your light shine.

My Talented & Artistic Nephew Austin

So after all that, I’m a nice guy and I love that it shows.  I’m embracing all the positive things that come with being nice.  It can encompass so many of what I’ve considered to be deeper adjectives.  Like Kind.  Thoughtful.  Warm.  Caring.  Respectful.  Sensitive.  Compassionate.  Gentle.  Vulnerable.  These aren’t signs of weakness.  They’re signs of strength.  This affirmation isn’t from the teacher or anyone else though.  It comes from me.  Hollah.

3 thoughts on “Reinvention

  1. This is awesome Krit. You are definitely nice, but super bold, courageous, risk-taking, focused, determined, hilarious, ferocious- the list goes on. That’s the cool thing about your layers, is they’re so complex, but so unique. Always enjoyed that about you!

  2. You’re not nice in a for-the-sake-of-people-pleasing type of way. You’re nice in a genuine way. You are who you are at all times and if there’s a problem you handle it, but I definitely think you’re genuinely nice. Meaning you have no ill will and a general respect for everyone until they otherwise provoke you to feel differently (and even sometimes then I’ve seen you try to put yourself in their shoes maybe after an initial few words about the situation). And you especially have a general love and respect for women I think. You do got a mouth on you… but your actions speak louder.<3

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s